Circle of Control

The Circles of Control, Influence and Concern model helps us to direct our energy and focus. If we put our time and energy into worrying about the things that are in our circle of concern we will continue to feel out of control and helpless. But if we put our time and energy into our circle of influence and our circle of control we will give ourselves a sense of agency and feel more in control, so this is where we need to focus our time and energy.

For example:The outbreak of Coronavirus Disease (COVID-19) has plunged the global community into a time of great uncertainty. We’d never:

Been exposed to COVID-19 and, although we were learning very fast, we didn’t fully understand how it is transmitted, why it is fatal for some and not for others, how to prevent contagion, how to cure it etc.

Lived through global lockdowns. We didn’t know how long the lockdowns would be necessary and what the future holds after lockdown in terms of the economy, global supply chain, food security, employment and so on.

Had access to so much instant global information and never had to question that information quite as much – is it true? Can it be trusted?

We were in a global crisis. The world is unpredictable. Things are no longer as they used to be and many of us feel out of control and helpless.

So what could we do about it?

When your exterior structure has broken down you need to organize your interior structure. In other words, when the world as you know it has fallen apart, you need to organize your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. When we are not able to change our external situation, all we can do is change our reactions to it.

So our task now becomes to ask ourselves:

“How can I help myself to become calm and have a sense of agency?”

“How can I make my world more predictable?”

“How can I gain a sense of control?”

And focus on doing that.

Easy enough to say, but when you are already feeling helpless and out of control, I am aware that it’s not so easy to do, so let me introduce you to a useful tool that may help you to do this.

The tool is called the ‘Circles of Control, Influence and Concern’ which looks at where we focus our time and energy. It looks like this:

Circle of Control: This encompasses those circumstances/issues/problems that we have DIRECT control over. 

Circle of Influence: This encompasses those circumstances/issues/problems that we have INDIRECT control over. 

Circle of Concern: Also known as the circle of ‘no control’. This encompasses the wide range of circumstances/issues/problems we have, but over which we have NO control. 

For this exercise I am giving you the instructions below:

This activity can be done individually or as a group. You can focus on all aspects of your life, or on one specific area (e.g. your business). 

1. Print out the “Circles of Control” poster. 

2. On small sticky notes, or pieces of paper, write down all the circumstances/issues/problems that are concerning you and put them in the Circle of Concern circle. At this stage you may have a lot of stress and anxiety over the things you’ve written down and may feel you don’t have any control over them. Having no control can be alarming. 

3. Look at all the things you’ve written down and decide which things you can actively control. Move all the sticky notes with the things that you can actively control from the outer, big Circle of Concern into the small Circle of Control. At this point, you may think that there aren’t many items that you can actively control. Maybe that’s true - you can’t control them, so ask yourself, “Can I influence them?” 

4. Think about ways you might be able to influence the things that are still in your Circle of Concern. E.g. could you develop a better relationship with the person outside of the team who’s making impossible demands and get to the root cause of their behaviour? Go through all the notes that are still in your Circle of Concern and try to move them into the Circle of Influence. As you explore these further, and think about them differently, you might find that some of the concerns can go straight into the Circle of Control. 

5. When you have worked with the sticky notes until you can’t move anything anymore, write the circumstances/issues/problems onto the actual poster and put the poster up in a place where you can easily see it every day. (The inside of a cupboard door that you open every day is a useful place to put your poster if you don’t want anyone else to see it). 

6. Your poster will then be a daily reminder of just how much you can control and where you need to focus your time and energy

In short, if we put our time and energy into worrying about the things that are in our circle of concern we will continue to feel out of control and helpless. But if we put our time and energy into our circle of influence and our circle of control we will give ourselves a sense of agency and feel more in control. So this is where we need to focus our time and energy. 

If you cannot control it, do not get stressed about it.

If you cannot influence it, do not get upset about it.

Focus on what you can change, not on what you cannot.

Resilience is all about choosing your Locus of Control and expanding your Circle of Influence.